Starzinstrypsosaurus

Starzinstrypsosaurus doesn't walk, doesn't bike, doesn't take the train, doesn't even know what a trolleybus is. Starzinstrypsosaurus just drives everywhere, all over this wide open beautiful expansive country. Starzinstrypsosaurus's's diet consists of diet mountain dew slurpees and taquitos. Starzinstrypsosaurus's toes are red, white, and blue.


by Parkersaurus Rex, who is in Russia right now and wants a slurpee so bad. SO BAD.

TREASURE ISLAND

Dear readers,

Hello, during this dry spell of Dino sightings you may have come to the same tragic conclusions that I admittedly was plagued by in these horrible span of months. A period that I now fondly refer to as, "THE DARK AND DEPRESSING ERROR OF NO HOPE OR RELIEF". During this time, I accepted defeat as I sadly thought to myself, the science books from grade 3 were right. Dinos truly are extinct, they all really did fall into that one giant volcano and melted to death. My reality was shattered, could I really exist in a world without any Dinos I know? Have I been wrong all this time? Have all the other sightings by others been in jest? In some cruel ploy to teasingly stoke my inner now seemingly misguided passion? With no where else to go, I went to google images, and to google maps to try to pin point locate that one giant volcano that melted all the Dinos, so I too could follow suite. I too, would become extinct with one final plunge into the hot lava (I hear that's a really good band by the way : ) Through big rain drop sized tears my eyes desperately scanned the computer monitor, I did not even notice my friend Evan walking up behind me, and was startled to hear him say, "DOOO why are you searching for 'good giant volcano to get melted in?'" Without making eye contact I mumbled, "I don't really want to live in a world without Dinos that badly..." To which Evan responded by whipping his over shirt up to display in all of its majestic glory a map to Dino paradise tattood onto his chest. He explained that he was born with it like that and never really thought too much about it until just now.

"HOLY CROWE" I exclaimed as my eyes instantly dried and a humongous smile ripped across my face. The tattoo read, 'Martha's Vineyard'. Whoever Martha was, she too knew some Dinos and threw a huge Dino party and THAT is where they all have gone these past few months! I quickly googled 'martha's rad dino party on her own vineyard which is actually an island' and all the party deets instantly popped up. Apparently the party went for 4 months but ends on March 29. Now, I have work during the week so I can't just go attend a far away party like that on a whim, especially uninvited, BUT. This means that the Dinos will be back soon. GET READY EVERYONE! DINOS I KNOW THE REVIVAL!!!!

STONERSAURUS

THE STONERSAURUS IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT: HAIGHT STREET, SAN FRANCISCO.

This is the chillest bro I know. Normally second-hand smoke kills, but Haight smoke makes this dino smile. "Do not sit or touch!" is the slogan tatted on his back. One time, I rode this dino and the store owner got real real mad.

CALI DINOS RULE!

tiny dinos

hey guys, parkersaurus rex here again.

you'll never believe what happened yesterday! i saw three dinosaurs! and they were tiny! i don't where they came from, i was doing the dishes and i saw them walking across the top of the fridge. it was crazy! anyway, now i don't have to look for jobs anymore, because i will be famous! it's like jurassic park except nobody is gonna die this time! unless u have a heart attack.

i know, "pix or it didn't happen." well, here you go:



a tiny deinonychus!



a tiny spinosaurus!



a tiny apatosaurus!

ReillySauraus

Perhaps the most elusive dino of the dino kingdom, the ReillySauraus stalks its prey for hours before it strikes. Don't you dare touch its offspring! this feisty creature will eat you alive. and your family!!!!! SNICKIES! no one is safe. not even cute kittens!!!!! RUUUNNNN!!#@1111!!!! the reillysauraus defines the dino #grindsesh and he throws ROCK AND ROLL PARTIEEEESSSSSSSS

Thesaurus Rex - Pt. II

Today's word is: footprint, as in,

Judging by the size of his footprint, the dinosaur that was just here could've eaten us all.

See also: footmark, footstep, hoofprint, impression, imprint, spoor, track, trail, tread.

Until next time,

T. Rex

Thesaurus Rex - Pt. I

Today's word is: fossil, as in...

If dinosaur fossils had skin and muscle atop, they would destroy us all.

See also: deposit, eolith, impression, neolith, petrifaction, relic, skeleton.

Until next time,

T. Rex

Lunch With a Mamenchi'

Walkin' on a crooked path yestaday at Pavlov's park I experienced a most interesting incident. I go to Pavlov's because the air there has a good taste to it, plus there ain't any a those childrens going down slides and playin' ball and all. So I was walkin', had my lunch in my right hand, and my left arm had a good swing to it. I'd say every two left steps it would swing back and forth. So I'm takin' in the air as sort of an appetizer to the pastrami in my bag when I hear this rumagin' over to the left. I look where I hear and suddenly rip! All the tree that used to be on the path ain't there no more. My arm stops its swing and then I see it. Damn, a mamenchisaurus just feedin' right there in Pavlov's! This thing musta had a neck 12 meters long but its head was just a little eraser nub at the end. Knowin' about sauropods, I thought: for a mamenchi' to be all the way up here It musta built its nest too far north. But what could I do? Mamenchis' are so large, I'd probably have to call a friend or two to corral the thing. So I sat on the bench and had my sandwich. He didn't seem to mind.

Clay DaGould

Hi My Name Is Parkersaurus Rex I Am A New Contributor To This Blog I Would Like To Thank Ian For Inviting Me.

This Is A Picture OF A Dinosaur A Chinaman And A Rock And Roll Guitar.

I Hope You Like It.

Cheers Parkersaurus Rex

SAFETY DINO!

"Hey do you just want to jump out of the window? save some time?" is what I said before a pale shade of horror fell over Oakley's face. "SHHHHHH!!!!!!" he responded as his eyes widened and he forcefully cupped my mouth shut with his hand.

"MMEOEUHMMUHH!!" I responded through suctioned clenched lips. He eased up, and I backed up. "Whats your problem! I think you made me cut my lip on my dentals!" Oakley grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the hall shutting the door behind us.

"I didn't want to tell you this earlier because I thought you would geek..." I calmed down a bit and expected the worst.

"Its not opposite day is it?" FUCK! I'm screwed. "FUCK!" I exclaimed as I thought back to all the things I said to people that day. "Professor Carlson I hope you have a safe drive home and your son gets healthy soon!" Welp, thats two deaths right there.....

"No, Opposite day was three days ago you idiot" Oakley responded, this is worse. "About a week ago I was laying in bed at around 2 a.m. when I heard this rapping on my window. I figured it was Dawson or Sam Anders from Clarrissa Explains it All trying to climb in again so I naturally went over to open it. But when I did this small Dino climbed in! Well at first I didn't notice him. I figured it was my imagination because I didn't see nor hear anything. But the next morning when I tried to jump out the window as always I got BIT"

"Bit by a Dino?"

"BIT BY A DINO. A safety dino"

"What?"

"Yeah, well after I got bit I backed up and saw this little dino sitting in my window sill, and realized that it must have been what knocked on my window the night before."

"jesus, so thats why you got that chunk bit off your finger! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't know what it was, and frankly, I didn't think you would have believed me. Anyways, After sprinting out of my room, I went on the internet and googled : Dino, window, and bite" and what came up was this: "A Safety Dino dwells in one's window sill forbidding any exit of the window, based on concern for one's safety" and then it said "The only way to get rid of a safety dino is to be so safe that he eventually gets bored and leaves."

"Man. So that's why you wanted me to come over so you could watch me play video games?"

"Exactly"

"Dude, I played for like 4 hours. That must have been boring as!"

"I almost committed. It was terrible."

"Jeez, thats miserable. Want to just take the stairs then?"

"Yeah, lets dip."

Rock-A-Sauraus Rex

Man, this dude sure loves having a Rock-A-Sauraus Rex listenin’ to his jams all day long! That dino knows how to rock 24/7- check out those rock n’ roll shorts!!!!! I’d bet guitar-man is living the good life being friends with a rock-a-sauraus rex.

Pizzasauraus

You know what's awesome about being a kid? Lot's of things. Popsicles, sock hops, fort building, scoooter riding, an overwhelming lack of responsibility, AND kids menus. You get this just for being little! You don't even have to order him specially.

This particular dino friend is sadly no longer with us. Except for the head. I don't like olives.

NOT SO NICE DINO

The senior class graduated 405 fewer students than expected this year. this was probably due to harsher grading in response to accusations of rising grade inflation. Increased course loads may have also played a factor, as students sought to stand out in the toughest job market in recent memory. also, 400 kids were eaten by dinosaurs.

BLADEASAURUS!

take a look at this cool customer! wizzing down the sidewalk scopin some babes while listening to jock jams vol. 2 on his cd-rom player with shock absorbers on it! Id say life is pretty sweet when you're a BLADEASAURUS

CHIGGERSAURUS!

wow i can see my house from hereeeeeeaaaAHHHH what the expletive is that thing! CRAP! I'ts the smallest dino in existence the great grandpappy of the chigger insect, the chiggersaurus. This sneaker tried to climb up my sneaker and burrow under my skin to give me an itch so bad that i would rub poison ivy leaves on my skin to relieve it! Good thing Anna was there to A. GTS (get the shot) and B. to STCWHFWR (SHOOT THE CHIGGASAURUS WITH HER FREEKIN WRIST ROCKET) thanks bud that was close! I owe you one!

Neighborsaurus

my neighbor is a dinosaur. a T. REX! I've always been scared of him but my curiosity of how he brushes his dentures with such small arms got the best of me today. So I went over to his house and asked him. It turns out he is really friendly and now among my top 5 favorite dino friends. It also turns out he doesn't even brush his teeth! Sort of gross but big whoop, he's a dino and that gives him a free hall pass in all aspects of life. Hot Lava will most likely be writing a song about him in the near future because most of our songs revolve around "neighbors" like our hits : "my neighbor ate a water bug" and "there's a neighbor on the ferris wheel". expect downloads soon. but in the mean time, enjoy some dinos i know! and this song evan and ian made about whistling!